This is my second blog in my mental awareness chapter. But this will be different.i have been avoiding a couple of people cause of my anxiety and the promises people tell me but they're never fulfilled. I hate when someone says they'll do something but won't follow through having me wait for no reason at all knowing you won't do it. The past two days I’ve had suicidal thoughts again yesterday my mom and sister called out of nowhere and saved me from doing something stupid and I am really thankful they pulled me out that dark hole of darkness I was about to plunge in. I’m scared for myself cause I remain strong around everyone else but when I’m alone I break like shattered glass and it’s painful to see myself going in a downward spiral. I’m sick I have Serotonin syndrome rhymbolosis.....something that slowly breaks your muscles down and who do I have to blame for these mishaps is myself. It hurts my soul and heart that I’m going through this slow pain. It really hurts. But on the positive note I have my website up it’s looking nice and not to mention all the work was done by me. I’m evolving I’m more than a producer I even have my own podcast show now. I want to keep all that up so I won’t fall behind. How long will I be stuck in the phase or disease my body is tired and so is my mind.....only time will tell what I have left everything that is who is dc I do for my son to show him everything and anything is possible. Well this concludes my entry for this week hopefully I’ll have something positive to write about next time.